a joy to lay it down

Hello sweet friends! I am here to give you all an update on life and where the Lord is leading me. On April 26th my time here in Tacloban, Philippines with 14 other sisters will come to a close. I will then be flying to Manila! I’ve been praying about how to best give this exciting news and I find myself drifting to some journal entries written awhile ago from my first time in this sweet country. I want to be as vulnerable as possible with you all, as so many of you have been following this journey with me. Rereading these prayers have fueled the fire in my soul all the more.

Papa I desire to live for you and you alone. I want to serve my brothers and sisters here in the Philippines. Let your Kingdom come – let your will be done. If it is your will, I ask that you’d reveal to me next steps in commitment, Jesus you’re the only one worthy of honor. Would my life embody continuous praise to you. Would I walk in humility and gentleness. Teach me your wisdom; would I fear you and praise you. Would kindness drip from me as sweet as honey because of the great love you’ve poured upon me. Would it flow from me to others. Thank you Papa. Keep me fixated on you. Nothing can take my hallelujah.

[excerpt from my prayer journal November 19. 2018]

Lord I ask for clarity over how long to remain in the Philippines. I thank you for this desire and I only hope that it’s your will for me to remain long term. I long for this community to be so in love with you! For a revival in the streets! To see households give endless praise to you – for children to be raised in loving homes where Christ is the center. Lord being here longer would allow for me to fully invest in what you’re doing here. So Papa I give my all to you.

[excerpt from my prayer journal November 27, 2018]

This season I have learned to be fully present, to be exactly where I am. To arise, understanding His mercies are new each morning. I receive the day with open hands and an open heart. I’m growing as a disciple. I’ve been learning how to live in fellowship with others and humbly look to others before myself. I’ve been praying fervently over what’s to come after this three month trip.

My heart for the Philippines is true and the desire to remain longer still stands. With this being said I am filled with joy to announce I will be serving as a full time missionary with Kids International Ministries for this next season. My role will be to lead and manage the Hope Alive Clinic. This clinic provides free medical care, encourages, guides, and loves women as they prepare for motherhood. With one midwife, one nurse, and countless patients the clinic is in need of assistance.

I have a burning passion to share the gospel. I have a passion to see women be empowered, to see Christ be the center of their lives. To disciple women and help them in the process of birthing a child. To educate them, to give them a voice where they might not have it in their households, to serve them, teach them, and above all simply love them. I believe the Lord intentionally has given me these desires and intentionally opened this door in this time for a purpose. My role will be taking care of logistics (charting, assisting with transporting women, policies/procedures, etc) along with being in the clinic each day sharing the good news.

So much prayer has gone into this decision and I have peace I can’t even put into words about it. I know this season will come with challenges. Being a missionary for a longer time comes with new experiences and new hardships. Being completely transparent I don’t exactly feel equipped but I’m trusting that the Lord will lead in all circumstances. I’m trusting there is purpose in this calling. I don’t want this to be a journey I take on my own, one where I never reach out or get so caught up that I forget the roots from where I have come. I am grateful for each and every person that has shown me the love of Christ. I want to dance into this next season and keep my loved ones in it as well. I want to be a bridge for all those who want to hear of His goodness in the Philippines. I want to be an advocate for those who face different circumstances than most. I want to share of the injustice I see here and I want to see Christ’s love continue to reach this nation. I believe that laying down the desires of my flesh, pride, and reputation will only result in His glory being manifested through my life.

Logistically, April 26th I will be landing in Manila to begin my role in the clinic. I do believe I am to return to the states in the summer to teach at the Vineyard summer camps, to connect with our church, and to take a short season to physically see everyone and rest. The Vineyard camps have been on my heart the whole time while being here, and I am passionate about teaching those sweet kiddos. I’m shooting to return to Maine around end of June/July to spend a few weeks in the states. I then plan on flying back to Manila to continue long term. I don’t have a set amount of time I plan on being here, I plan on taking it day by day and focusing on the task at hand.

In order to serve in Manila I will have to be funded through donors. I never imagined I would have to rely on others to provide financially for myself like this, but I see how the Lord uses opportunities like this to bring Kingdom. I will need $500 monthly to sustain my everyday living (lodging + food). Fundraising is something that can be so very challenging, and it isn’t my first time as some of you may know. The Lord has given me an insane peace over all of this. The past few months I’ve seen Him provide financially in crazy ways for not only me but those around me. God is bigger than money. I refuse to let fear of not being funded stop me from saying yes to being a laborer for the Kingdom here in the Philippines. With this being said I am laying down pride and asking for you to seriously pray into giving. It goes beyond just providing for me but also allowing for others to hear this good news of redeeming love as well.

There are so many loved ones in the states I am longing to see face to face. My heart is aching over missing so many loved ones, but my heart is aching more for the broken I have seen here in this country. I am passionate to see this community in Manila radically transformed by the love of Christ through the works done in not only the clinic but everywhere in the streets as well. It’s so much more than being sent to a different country. I believe God is asking me to say yes, to trust Him, to be obedient right here right now by choosing to remain longer than expected. I have a lot of learning to do, and more growth is coming. Through action I want to show my obedience, through action I want to passionately love those around me, through action I want to pick up my cross and follow Christ.

[ Even though I am free from the demands and expectations of everyone, I have voluntarily become a servant to any and all in order to reach a wide range of people: religious, nonreligious, meticulous moralists, loose-living immortalizes, the defeated, the demoralized – whoever. I didn’t take on their way of life. I kept my bearings in Christ – but I entered into their world and tried to experience things from their point of view. I’ve become just about every sort of servant there is in my attempts to lead those I meet into a God-saved life. I did this all because of The Message. I didn’t just want to talk about it; I wanted to be in on it! – 1 Corinthians 9:19-23 ]

This word has been an encouragement for the season ahead. I’m taking each moment with open hands, giving all things to Christ. I am blown away at His intentionally and goodness. He has established the work of my hands.

I pray this message finds you well. I pray you continue to see Christ revealed in your lives. I pray you feel His tangible love right now. I pray peace floods you like a mighty river. I am expectant for His goodness to fill every corner of this nation, every corner of the earth. I am humbled He has asked me to follow Him for all my days, to partner in sharing this good news.

Thank you for being with me in this journey so far. Thank you for reading this. Thank you for the love freely given, for the wisdom poured out, for the generosity shown.

If you feel a yes in your Spirit to give you can do so at this site…


Thank you. Blessings to you!

One thought on “a joy to lay it down

  1. Sally

    Whoever the Lord leads, He equips. So, put your fears to rest and go where He leads. If God allows, I will give but be assured of my prayers. I am SO excited for you as you move into the next chapter.

    Liked by 1 person

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